Work out some things…10/15/2008

Letter to my husband, Dr. Alan Diaz on October 15, 2008

Work out some things…

Dear Alan,

We need and must work out on some issues before things begin to deteriorate again.  I am on the 3rd month of unemployment and I will not wait until the money stops coming in to make a decision to leave.

I appreciate what you have done for all my children and grandchildren (Alyssa and her father (your favorite son Javier), Kiomary and the kids, Bubi, Adalis and Adal), especially for helping save my granddaughter's life, but I need for you to be more sensitive and loving to me as a person, if I am to stay here with you.

I am the matriarch of the family, how can you treat them all like everything is OK and mistreat me?

I am your wife and I deserve and expect to be treated as an equal in the relationship, we are dependent on each other as a couple should, I believe is called a partnership.  I do not appreciate when you want me to do things because they are menial or unimportant but not able to know or ask what you do (communicate with or hang out) via email, phone or in person in the pursuit of your sexual games.  This relationship stop being about you, it has to be about us or is no more.

I do not appreciate that you begin the mornings about business or investments without a good morning, the coffee is great and I really appreciate your gesture, but when I get up I need time, the same thing in the evenings, especially f you are drinking.  Perhaps we can schedule into an agreeable time to speak in the mornings and/or evenings about the business and even investments.

In regards to some of my wifely duties, this morning you expected for me to say that the clothes had not been washed.  It was done on Sunday and I had mentioned it, but bringing the clothes up is difficult because is heavy.  I can cook for you but you will have to be more explicit as to what do I cook because in the past you have made statements about my cooking, you prefer your cooking which I understand since you cook with hot spices and rare condiments that are not to my taste.  I eat more bland food than you do and no hot spices at all.

Another wifely duty is the intimate part; I just don't like to have sex. I need love, romance, caring and sex all in one.  I am willing to do certain things but they are limited, and perhaps you may disagree.  This has been a major issue between us.  Let's discuss if not in person then via email or IM.  I am tired of the screaming matches and your intimidating tactics with the insinuation that you will crush me mentally; I know that you are capable of doing so, and I will not allow this to happen.  I prefer to end the marriage, than to engage in a fighting match with you. 

I am willing to help you and Javi with the business but you must be kind in making work related requests, if you want me to respond in a respectful manner to Dr. Diaz.  Otherwise we will go into conflicts.  If its better perhaps you can put your requests in writing with a timeline to take care of them.  You also have to be clearer in the requests, I don't read mind and I have been out of healthcare for a long time, so I am not aware of all the changes that have taken place in the system.

I am trying very hard to get my life in order and I expect that I am allowed to do so with your support.  I also would like to pursue some of my dreams that have been on hold for too long.

Sincerely,
Jennie